Finding out you are pregnant may immediately bring one concern to mind: how and if you’ll tell your partner.
Maybe you expect disappointment. Maybe you think he will panic about money or your future. Or perhaps his past behavior makes you nervous about how he will respond.
You do not have to force the conversation before you feel ready. Ventura County Pregnancy Center offers confidential pregnancy services and support if you want to get more information before telling your partner. Schedule an appointment today, or read on to learn practical tips for deciding whether to tell your partner and how.
You Can Wait Until You Feel Prepared
There is no rule saying you have to tell your partner the same day you find out.
You may want to confirm the pregnancy first, find out how far along you are, or speak with someone you trust. Having a little more information can make the conversation feel less chaotic or stressful.
You also do not need to have a final pregnancy decision ready when you tell him. It is okay to say that you are still thinking. The decision ultimately remains with you.
Choose the Setting Carefully
If you are in a safe, stable relationship, think about where the two of you tend to communicate best.
Avoid bringing it up in the middle of an argument, during work, or when one of you is rushing out the door. A private setting with enough time to talk can make a difficult conversation easier.
You can also decide beforehand what you want from your partner. You may want him to listen first before asking questions, or give you some time instead of immediately discussing options.
Being specific can keep the conversation from turning into an argument about everything at once.
Your Safety & Wellbeing Matter Most
A strong reaction is one thing, and could indicate that your partner just needs time to process the news before revisiting the subject. However, threats, manipulation, or attempts to control your pregnancy decision are never justified.
Your partner may have feelings about the pregnancy, but he does not have the right to force you to choose abortion, adoption, or parenting.
If he threatens to leave you unless you make a certain choice, controls your money or transportation, isolates you from other people, or makes you afraid for your safety, remember that your well-being is the highest priority. You never deserve to feel unsafe.
If you believe telling your partner could put you in danger, do not meet with him alone. You also aren’t obligated to share anything. Tell someone you trust, and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 if you need confidential help. Call 911 if you are in immediate danger.
Get Your Own Information First
Whatever your partner thinks, you still need information about your pregnancy.
Ventura County Pregnancy Center can help you confirm your pregnancy with an ultrasound, give you a space to ask questions, and learn about parenting, adoption, and abortion in a neutral environment.
Schedule a confidential appointment today if you want more information before having that conversation.
*Ventura County Pregnancy Center does not provide or refer for abortions.